Pros and Cons of listening to jazz

Pros:

• You can hum along and if you mess up, no one knows.
• It makes you seem cool, kind of.
• What else are you going to listen to late at night on public radio?

Cons:

• I like lyrics and melodies.
• The saxophonist's solos are way too long.
• I can't tell if the jazz I am listening to is good or not.

Pros and Cons of riding a bike

Pros:

• It is easier than riding a prairie dog.
• Re-learning how to do it is just like riding a bike.
• There is a super cool ramp that someone built two blocks over and my second best friend Roger dared me to jump it.

Cons:

• Still can't ride with no hands for more than half a second.
• Pedaling is a chore.
• Hard to steer and text.
  

Pros and Cons of hailing a cab

Pros:

• You look like you are going somewhere while standing in one place.
• Finally get to test out your new whistle.
• Otherwise, you would have to walk three blocks.

Cons:

• Not a lot of cabs out in the country.
• What if I didn't put deodorant on and I raise my arm up high?
• I don't think cabs are that great so I don't want to hail them.
  

Pros and Cons of whales

Pros:

• They are HUGE!
• The movies about them are very emotional.
• They are gentle giants (except the killer ones, that is).

Cons:

• They steal all of the plankton.
• Some of them eat seals and people.
• Can't have one in my new apartment.
  

Pros and Cons of opossums

Pros:

• When they are babies, they are adorable!
• They stay to themselves mainly.
• They make cute squeaking noises when they run.

Cons:

• When they get older, they become scarier-looking.
• I can't remember if they are marsupials or not.
• They bite when you try to hug them.
  

Pros and Cons of spitting a loogey

Pros:

• I would have to swallow it otherwise.
• Makes me look cool.
• Improves my mouth-eye coordination.

Cons:

• Might step in it later.
• Ladies think it is gross (jealous?)
• Sometimes, my aim is off and it hits the inside of my car window.

Pros and Cons of hats

Pros:

• Most hats are made for heads.
• You can stick your ponytail out the back.
• No one knows you are balding.

Cons:

• Wearing it to the side doesn't make people think I am gangsta.
• They push my ears down and make me look like Dopey.
• What if my hair wants to breathe?