Friday, October 31, 2008

Pros and Cons of going on retreats

Pros:
  • They usually provide a light breakfast.
  • It gets you out of the office for a while.
  • You get to see your boss in khaki shorts.
Cons:
  • Was always taught to "never surrender, never give up."
  • What if we don't want to be a "team."
  • If you eat breakfast beforehand, the light breakfast seems unnecessary.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Pros and Cons of using duct tape

Pros:
  • It holds things together
  • The color is neutral
  • I can finally tear it with my fingers!
Cons:
  • It is not "duck" tape (it should be).
  • It makes my car look trashy.
  • It does not take the place of nails when building a house :(

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Pros and Cons of Handouts in meetings

Pros:
  • Everyone gets one.
  • You actually hand them out to people.
  • You can use them as a napkin or a "food-holder."
Cons:
  • Most handouts could be spoken aloud and not actually passed out
  • Handouts are bad for the environment (unless you recycle them as either a napkin or "food-holder")
  • Paper Cuts.

Pros and Cons of Meetings

Pros:
  • There might be candy handed out at the beginning.
  • It is a good place to meet people.
  • It is a good place to show off your lazer pointer.
Cons:
  • Usually they are boring
  • They are pointless if you can read minds.
  • The person talking is not considerate of my inability to pay attention.

Pros and Cons of lazers

Pros:
  • They are the coolest things ever!
  • They can melt a face
  • Might as well get used to using them, because bullets are a thing of the past, man.
Cons:
  • They can melt a face!
  • Is red always used for bad guys, because if so, than that is pretty uncool, because what about bad guys that don't like red, or good guys that like red?
  • Some lazers are not that strong and can only point at things in meetings.

Pros and Cons of "giving fives"

Pros:
  • Makes you look cool (if you do it right)
  • Five fingers on your hand makes it seem natural
  • Faster than hugging
Cons:
  • Why not ten?
  • How will it look if I accidentally grasp hands for longer than a split second?
  • Seems kind of violent

Pros and Cons of watching baseball

Pros:
  • Can watch other things at the same time
  • I like peanuts
  • Can watch it live or on t.v.
Cons:
  • A little lengthy
  • Can't ever remember what inning it is
  • Forgot my mitt

Pros and Cons of Oranges

Pros
  • Sweet
  • Their color is their name.
  • They are not apples.
Cons:
  • Seeds
  • The rind is bitter.
  • I don't actually like the taste.

Pros and Cons of becoming a tax attorney

Pros:
  • Could help friends and family with tax issues.
  • Make more money.
  • Could wear my suit more.
Cons:
  • Not good at math.
  • Would have to get business cards made.
  • Don't actually know what a tax attorney does.

Pros and Cons of Wearing Pants

Pros:
  • They should keep my legs warm.
  • Pants make my ass look good.
  • I have two legs, they have two holes - you do the math.
Cons:
  • I might look "uppity."
  • Can't feel the wind on my legs.
  • Pants will weigh me down if I go swimming.

Pros and Cons of Eating a Banana

Pros:
  • I am hungry.
  • What else am I gonna do?
  • I like the idea of it.
Cons:
  • I might already have enough potassium.
  • What do I do with the peel?
  • I don't actually have a banana.